this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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