I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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