put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
