if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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