Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I haven't been this sober since birth.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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