I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize