Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
