Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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