I don't remember. Are we still dating?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize