Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize