Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
