apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
