I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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