they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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