Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
