i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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