Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
