Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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