He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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