Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
