Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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