How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize