You smell like stripper and shame
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
