Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
