bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize