If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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