i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
