I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Green mimosas i think yes
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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