We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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