I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just found puke in my bra..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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