My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize