I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
