He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
