What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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