Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
