Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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