Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
