woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
