Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
