I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize