scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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