I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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