he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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