I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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