He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
