You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
