I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
