I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
