Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
