My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
