at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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