I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i drank out of a bidet.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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