Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
