is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You pole danced in your parka.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
