Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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