how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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