I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
