You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
