Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize